as if it were the last time

weheartit + lovetrains

my feelings won't change

unknown

The message i sent to my lover when he ended things telling me he all of a sudden had no time for or relationship...

There's so much left unsaid that It's got to a point where I'm a mess. I can't keep trying.

I won't lie; I still hope you'll call & probably won't move on properly till you do.
I'm confused that you were just going to leave it though you know what I'm feeling.
Being openly emotional isn't something I do so you know I'm really trying.

We've both had unsuccessful relationships & it kills that you won't give us a chance.
I just wanted to be there for you. No drama, just me & you.
Despite what you have going on I'd support you not stress you. You say your life has a schedule,
I could've worked with that; all I wanted was your time, however much or little.
I need you to know that I would've been different. No lies, control, cheating or games.

Think of the time we spent together. You know we'd have been good for each other.
You made me feel things I'd never felt before then took it away as if it was nothing.
As if I was nothing. No explanation. Imagine how that feels.

I don't know if it's because of what happened or because you truly don't want someone right
now but you will soon enough, we all do, & I'm here. Still wanting you just the way we were.
If you felt everything you said you did you could balance it. But I can't force that.
You have your reasons. I just wish you didn't.

You mean so much to me & you can't tell giving up on us makes you happy.
I meant it when I said I loved you.
We had something. Maybe it's over. Maybe you need time.
Either way my feelings won't change.

-anon

until you found me

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For Mum

orkut

How many times have I betrayed you? There are betrayals in battle that are infinitesimal compared to my betrayals of you.
I pushed off, away, and against. What was not broken, I destroyed. What you did not care to know, I found out.

You let me. Other times you didn’t let me go easily and I would fight. Sometimes I would get so angry I wouldn’t be able to remember what I said. Then I would leave. Sometimes I wouldn’t come back.

One time, I left and got really lost, in more ways than one. I couldn’t get out of bed. I stayed there in the dark for days. Was it the third day that you opened my door and sat down on my bed? I couldn’t get the words out from inside (I’m lost).

I filled the aching void with tears instead. You cried too.

Get up, you said softly, tears running down your cheeks and wetting my hands. This isn’t you. It’s time to get up.

You didn’t open the window, and you closed the door when you left a minute later.
I lay there, in the darkness. All my darkness.

I was lost, too close to that precipice.

I came upstairs a few hours later, still lost. I think you knew that.

That day you came down into my room, I realized that down in my room, the only one who remembered me was you. That was the year I didn’t know my own reflection in a mirror. That was the year only you found what I had lost.

I remember the day the fog lifted. I was back. I was also almost eight thousand miles away, living in an ancient English castle. I had fled there to find myself, and when I did I realized you’d never once lost me. You were just waiting until I found what you’d known all along. Thank you for waiting, for guarding, for keeping.

I quit running to the unknown after that day. The problem with running towards the void is that it’s incredibly likely you’ll get consumed by all of the uncertainty of the unknown.
I realize that now.

It’s your birthday today. I sat down intending to write something that could somehow express just how much I love you. Instead, I ended up overwhelmed by just how much you love me.

This is the first part of what I know.
Love is a species of flame.

And although all the rest of what I do not know cries out to me (and I must go and know it) I need you to understand—you are my North star. My touchstone. The origin from which I run.

Ultimately, I am always journeying back to you.

never settle

weheartit

I love(d) you.

unknown

I love(d) you.

It has been 10 days since we broke up for the second time. It was different this time, we both gave up. I tried to get this relationship back but it's obviously not working.

My heart literally shattered into pieces at the moment you told you're not gonna do anything to save this relationship. And that you're just gonna sit back and let whatever happen, happens. You said, 'If God want us to be together,we will'. But then again, if you love something, you should work for it. It's sad, because you left me hanging.

You told me I'm a Bitch and I never appreciate. You said I never made effort in maintaining this relationship. I told myself to give all up on you.

But then again, I can't. Everyday, I feel so lost. And when our song started playing on iTunes, the feeling I have towards you, it's there. Tears started shedding. Every night, I fall asleep in wet pillow. While you enjoy hanging out with your friends. You told me you were hurting too, but it doesn't seem like it.

And I can't watch any sort of love, romance movies anymore. Because it hurts so badly. I was never those who cried during sad love stories, but now, I am. You turned me into an emotionally weak person.

You promised me forever. You said you were gonna marry me. You said I was the only you loved. You are my first kiss. You told me I'm a good kisser. You said you'll love me for as long as you can. I told you I don't believe in sweet talks. But, you made me believed everything you said.

And then you tore me apart. You broke my heart. Completely.

But I love you, and yet I shouldn't.

You spoiled my whole perspective towards love. Do you know that?

You said we could be friends. So you started texting me as friends. You're giving me hope towards the relationship, a false hope. I tried not to reply, but how could I? Please stop this. It sucks.

One day, I'll be happy again. I hope.

everytime i see you

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